Forget the Potter's Wheel, Let Me Paint

I've recently taken up the art of painting pots. Not creating pots, mind you, that's for my partner in crime. Seems too messy, sloppy, out of control for me. I can just see my piece of clay slipping drunkenly on the potter's wheel, diminishing from an object of elegant beauty to a brown blob of nothingness in thirty seconds or less. Or maybe I just want to paint them.

Not that painting pots is anything to turn your nose skyward. Yesterday's adventure involved drawing a tortoise on the pot. I saw the design on the cover of a Terry Pratchett novel, "Small Gods" and I thought, "Got to get that on to the next creation, and no mistake." (Oick, do I owe the illustrator a fee for artistic plagiarism? Ah that's litigation for another day in another life). So in haste, I drew the said tortoise, or what, to be honest, was the nearest depiction I could muster after two glasses of red wine. After many modifications, including severe adjustment of the tail piece, which originally looked like a fifth leg or worse, a passable tortoise emerged.

The next hurdle was the glaze. The best looking colours yesterday were pink and blue. Ok, who said anything about realism here? All the best tortoises are pink and blue. I was in a bit of a rush at this stage. You know when you get this bright idea, and it seems grand at first but then you feel like "hurry up and finish already"? Well I was like that. So I must admit some of the outer scales looked as if God did not pay too much attention on day seven. However at the end of an hour a very respectably painted tortoise swam into view in the middle of the oval pot. Well especially when you looked kindly from a distance.

Now as to what the heck it looks like when it comes out the kiln, that will have to wait until another day.

Gangsta Heron and Joey BlueJay

I chose my current apartment because of the view. Its not on the seafront but the powers that be have chosen not to develop over the underground parking lot opposite, for which I am truly grateful. So aside from apartment buildings to the far left and right, I have a relatively unrestricted view across Enfield Bay towards Point King in the far distance. Except today, that is not quite so.

A curious figure catches my eye, perching on one leg on the building opposite, a grey overcoat hunched up over the shoulders. In another situation I imagine a violin case and a thick cigar would not be out of place. We're not talking about gangsters here. It is the resident heron, a frequent visitor to this neighbourhood.

Now I'm confused. The heron's other leg seems to be reaching round to scratch his neck but scientifically that does not seem possible. It doesn't make sense, how could the heron bend it's leg like that ? On closer inspection with binoculars, it's clear that the wind is whipping up the feathers. I have no idea where the other leg is nor do I wish to ask. We now have a very passable imitation of the Penguin character in the Batman movies. Even down to the beak. Very clever indeed. The heron clearly knows that a hoard of apartment dwellers are watching its every move. Now it has contorted itself so that its neck and head look like an umbrella hanging off the side of the now headless overcoat. Pretty darn good, as impressions go. I give that a nine out of ten for artistic merit.

Oh darn, away it flies, off the building, like a prehistoric raptor. But things aren't so bad. Joey the Blue Jay has just arrived on my balcony, quivering with excitement, ready to bury yet another peanut in my plant pot.

Martha's Muse Blog : Help section,SubSection D

Some of the terms you will see in this blog!

SAD Store: The Spend Astronomical Dosh home hardware store, favourite place of Gregoire's; he would live there if he had the chance.

GREGOIRE: Beloved Other Half.

HEDGEROW HOUSE: this is a house down the road that gets rid of stuff - clothes, tents, anything - by leaving it strewn on the hedge in front of the house. I recently bumped into the owner, I'll call her Doris, and it turns out that she's been in the hedgerow giveaway business for over thirty years.

DOPPELGANGER URSULA: She is a fellow litter picker upper from the other side of the planet. A wise woman, she writes to me about plants, wind powered energy and all manner of subjects.

PARTY HOUSE: Rowdy house rented by young-uns just down the street. I'm probably doing them a disservice because recently I think we've had more parties than they have. But we don't leave beer bottles on the street outside the house. Well that's because I see five cents every time I see a bottle and that's not to be sniffed at.

BLOGTRAIN: Quite reliable rapid urban transit system. Now if they had just installed an automated mechanism for checking tickets and instant deportation for anyone yelling loudly into their cellphones, we'd all be away to the races.

So are you using a pinhole camera or what? Ok yes. Well not really.
A lot of the older blurry pictures have been taken by this toy camera, so no great shakes there. But better news, I have acquired a better (but still cheap) camera so future images will be sharper, but don't expect great photos.

So do you welcome comments on your blog?Absolutely, I'd delighted if you leave a comment.

So you do you welcome comments with links to my website promoting all the wonderful products I have to sell?Er no. Spam get nuked as soon as I see it.

I've had enough of this, take me back to Martha's HomePage and be quick about it.