Monday, November 13, 2006

Traveller's Tales from the Crypt

I was on a crowded airplane recently. I'd booked my seat ahead of time and chose one of the remaining aisle seats towards the back of the aircraft. There was a woman sitting in the window seat on my row and with me in the aisle, that left one seat in the middle that was so far unoccupied. We both expressed the hope that the seat would remain that way. The woman was very large and obviously cramped in her seat, but that meant that the middle seat was going to be an extremely tight fit. There was a tiny baby in the row in front of us, and she was crying incessantly, oblivious to her mother's attempts to soothe her.

Just as the aircraft doors were being shut, a slim man with dark hair came hastily up the aisle looking for his seat. He sighed as he saw where it was, wedged between the two of us. He looked around the plane rather franticly, noting the screaming baby in the row beside us. I stood up to let him pass, but he insisted, "Oh no, I don't mind at all if you sit in the middle." I was about to laugh and looked at him to see if he was joking but he was perfectly serious. I thanked him but remained standing and he grumpily passed me and sat down to take the middle seat. I didn't feel particularly warm towards him and buried myself in a book about a Scottish GhostWriter. (Which might sound confusing but its nothing to do with apparitions, more about someone writing articles, letters and even books on behalf of someone else. I'll write a review one of these days, it's an interest subject. Ghost writing is apparently considered the second oldest profession in the world).

Anyway back to the plane. I'd decided my male companion was an obnoxious pig for suggesting I sit in the middle. My views soon changed. He started talking to the lady by the window. I hadn't noticed a large brown crucifix hanging down by her waist. It turned out that she was a Catholic sister who lived in a very remote village and was on her way to a family reunion on the other side of the country. It emerged that our friend in the middle was a refugee from Afghanistan and was taking his citizenship test the next day. So CatholicSis gave him a two hour lesson in geo-political history regaling him with what seemed like the name of every river in the country, who the founding fathers were and what colour underpants they wore (ok maybe not, she's a nun after all) and how are local government is run when its at home. She was entertaining for the other passengers, I learned quite a lot about the country that I didn't know, although to be honest, I did't know where her "off" button resided. I wondered if I shook the crucifix, would that have any effect? I half thought she'd been in a closed order and not allowed to talk, and maybe she was making up for lost time.

We also learned that supposedly obnoxious gentleman was en route from a business trip to Japan so Lord only knows how many hours he had been travelling. I forgave him for the indiscretion - if I'd been him after a 15 hour flight, I'd try to avoid another five hours sitting in cramped quarters. All the while the baby in front of us screeched like she was being attacked by three-headed green monsters, except for eerie moments of quiet when a complete stranger from the row behind us, picked up the baby and was able to soothe her for a few minutes before handing her back to the grateful mother. The baby then yelled again for all she was worth.

In between the CatholicSis regaling tales of historical minutae that I'm pretty darn certain are not on anyone's citizenship test, the Afghan trying to understand what the heck she was talking about, a man snoring rather loudly in the row behind us and the relentlessly screaming baby monopolizing attention in front of us, you'll forgive me if I lashed into a bottle of rather good French wine to anaesthetize myself from the effects of such mayhem. By the time we reached our destination, I was rather befuddled and didn't know which way was up, I just needed to get off that damn plane and get to somewhere with a bit of peace and quiet. I then had to contend with a taxi driver who, after a forty dollar cab ride, got extremely upset that I did not have cash. I did happen to have cash on me, but I was damned if I was going to give it to MrStroppyCabDriver, so I stood my ground and insisted on paying him by credit card. When we got to the hotel, I was expected to give a tip to the doorman for moving my luggage for all of ten metres. I gave him a dollar for his pains.

When I finally got to my hotel room late at night, I was exhausted, starving and in a foul mood. So in that frame of mind, I headed down to the hotel dining room in search of food and more adventures .... and that tale is to be continued on another fine day.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Critters and a bunch of cash.....

The question of the day ? Name three events that you have experienced in the past 48 hours.

First, whilst sweeping up the deck I found a dead mouse. Although we detest them with a passion when they are inside the house, I feel sad when I see a dead-un outside the house. We suspect this was the fat little critter we saw a week ago peeking into our kitchen, not seeing us until we were almost on top of him. Anyway I gave him a decent burial in the backyard, which leads me to...

Second, as I was digging a hole for said mouse, I heard a rustling sound in the bamboo. I carried on digging as it was probably a bird. But then out from the undergrowth came this large black and white creature. I jumped a mile in the air as initially I thought it was ElsieSkunk, but no it was a huge raccoon. He was grumpy about being disturbed and definitely not afraid of us. He lumbered off into the neighbour's garden.

And third, I got a call late last week. Lost Property from the BlogTrain called. Noone claimed the money I handed in several weeks ago, so now it is mine to keep. I must admit I never thought I'd see that again, so it was a bit of a pleasant surprise. I waltzed along to the office after work. After showing my id, I am now thirty dollars richer. As I was walking away, the man behind me went up to the counter and said, "My name is Jerry and I'm here to report that I've lost some cash...." and we all laughed.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

And the house came down...


Well this is the house that was due for demolition and sure enough, this afternoon, along came the bulldozer. I felt very sad watching this. It must have so many memories for its previous owners. A few people came along to take videos and pictures of this scene.



Only the front wall remains, and as I look out the window at this minute, not even that is standing.





And here's a depiction of the house when it was standing. It was a charming place, why did they have to knock it down? Ok I know the answer. A lot of crisp green ones in someone's bank account.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


We didn't grow sunflowers this year but these were in a nearby garden. I am always amazed at how high these flowers grow.

We were observed during our evening walk last night.

This is the house I identified a couple of weeks back as being up for imminent destruction. Rather strangely, a truck arrived today and dumped all this housing garbage on the front lawn. Maybe they are knocking down more than one house and using one as a dumping ground. Anyway the days are numbered for this once fine home. Watch this space.

In the park last night, there was this couch, next to it a mattress, just a few metres away, an abandoned bike. Apart from the fact that the couch looks a little worse for wear, you could almost imagine someone sitting there, all we are missing is a TV on showing "Desperate Housewives."

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Lost thirty dollars ?.... look no further.

About a month ago, as I was approaching the blogstation on my way home from work, I saw some paper on the ground. On closer inspection, I saw it was three ten dollar bills. There were lots of people around me, all scurrying for the train. I picked up the money and glanced around. Noone was looking around to see if they had lost anything. There were the usual newspapers vendors (well not vendors as they are giving the papers away) and ironically, a couple of panhandlers standing nearby. I put the money in my purse and carried on.

I felt uncomfortable. The money burnt a hole in my pocket. It wasn't something I had earned. I didn't actually need it. I was in a bit of a hurry so went straight home. I examined the bills. One was almost ripped in half, but still usable, and another had what looked like a dried ketchup stain on it. Next day I approached a blog train attendant and explained what happened. He said "Don't give me the money. If you do, I'll be the one who gets to keep it if noone claims it." Well that was honest of him. He gave directions to the Lost Property Office. After work that day I went along to the office and gave in the money and precise details of where I found it. The woman behind the counter wasn't quite sure how to fill in the form, which didn't inspire me with confidence, but it only took a few minutes and I walked out of there.

I seriously doubt whether I'll see the money again, but that's ok, it was the right thing for me to do. I just hope a transit employee doesn't take the money. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised, or maybe I just will never know. Good luck to whoever has that thirty dollars.
So much for me ranting about the cooler weather the other day. Its been as hot as all get out the whole weekend.



ElsieS has been visiting each night. I slept through it last night, but Gregoire complained that she left an odorous calling card.

I felt a bit weird posting the picture of the woman in the park. I was half expecting to read about a body being found the next day, but no, she was just sleeping.

I have been doing the litter route each week, nothing outstanding has shown up. I only go just round the houses in the immediate vicinity because my bag fills up and I need to haul it home. Most of the garbage consists of plastic bags, junk food wrappers and transit tickets. Sometimes you'll see a beer can, but the deposit to be redeemed on those, means you won't see many on the street. Thats a good thing. I hear that in Ireland they have deposits on plastic bags, resulting in a 90% decrease in the use of plastic bags. Talking of bags, I found a site that is monitoring progress round the world on reusable bags.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Life goes on in suburbia...

We've been talking to some neighbours who live near the blogstation. One of them had just chased a drug dealer away from the street corner. Dealers are a constant presence in the area, although usually down the street rather than outside our house, but we do occasionally see addicts staggering along our laneway.

In talking to pirate neighbour down the street ("pirate" because he has such a menacing appearance with a shaved head and one eye but is the nicest guy you'd ever expect to meet), there is a sign for the dealers - a pair of boots is hung outside the drop house. So now I'm on the look out. Its funny because in the past I have picked up old shoes left outside houses in our area, thinking they were garbage, maybe I inadvertently messed up a drug exchange.

Just now I was walking back from the store along by the blogtrain. I stopped for a few minutes to sit in the park, and noticed a woman lying in the corner on the grass. Her purse was open in disarray beside her and her shoes were some distance away. She was lying with her face planted in the ground. I went closer to see if she was breathing and after a few moments confirmed that she was. I noticed the soles of her feet were very dirty. I couldn't see her face. Drug addict ? Maybe. Maybe not.

This is the woman. I've doctored the picture to cover up her backside as it was revealed for all to see. Including any local children who might have been playing in the local playground a few feet away. Which reminds me, the playground was totally empty when I walked by, and probably with good reason. Anyway it did not look like a normal scene, but because she was obviously in the land of the living and just appeared to be sleeping something off, I did not call the police.


Talking of playgrounds - this is the one I was talking about. When I was a kid, you just had a swing or a roundabout, but just take a look at this labyrinth of adventure. I think I want to be a kid again just to be able to experience this with a child's eyes.

Late last night as Gregoire and I were sitting in the living room, the outside deck light came on. "I bet it's ElsieSkunk," Gregoire cried. And we both leapt up and looked out the window. It was hard to see anything as it was so dark in the bushes. At first nothing appeared, but then we saw ElsieSkunk scratching around on the grass. We've grown quite attached to her and were very pleased to see her. As long as she doesn't live with us and doesn't spray us, we don't mind her nocturnal visits.


I took this picture last week in an alleyway on our evening walk. OK, I doctored it a bit. We're actually on the lookout for an ironing board, but this one was about half a mile from home, and embedded in undergrowth. Nature covers up almost all sins eventually....


This is my current favourite tree - I've published pictures of this before. Its just so unusual, and stark. Winner of the Tree of the Month picture.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Here is the state of the nation:

1) Hedgerow House occupant, Doris, put an announcement on, where else, her hedge, to say that she wasn't putting out any more free stuff. No explanation. Hopefully this situation will change because, dash it all, it was most entertaining for the likes of me.

2) ElsieSkunk has gone off and married someone else. At least for the time being. It may have something to do with the Berlin Wall I constructed outside the crawlspace in one of my less critter friendly moments. (Sorry Wynn, couldn't help myself). Usually when I do this, the critter comes back the very next day.


3) The weather has turned. Fall is approaching. And I have to tell you, I am not amused. Up with this, I will not put, as Winston Churchill used to say.
4) The house down the road that has a death sentence imposed on it, is still standing. I maintain a vigil night and day. Well something like that.


5) What is this weird picture? I hear you shriek. Well there is a house down the road with a stone statue in the front garden and I really like it. Usually statues in the garden in this neighbourhood get snatched au milieu du nuit, but this one is so frigging big that they'd need a tow truck. Its great.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Sunday, August 27, 2006


This is one of the blogvilles I visited this week. Quite a nice town I thought.

I had this offering for dinner on my travels this week. Of course I didn't finish it. Underneath was a rather delightful couscous dish which made a pleasant contrast with all that gravy. Great tasting meal, I'd give it a strong 8.5 out of 10.

You know, apart from crows, I think grapevines could take over the world. In our yard, they would grow twenty feet if you'd let them. The neighbour on one side has just returned after being abroad for three months, and I swear the grapevine has completely taken over his backyard. Yuri has been hacking away at it for about a week now trying to bring some semblence of order to the place.
I've been on the road for the last week so I have not caught up with Simon Says in the elevator to find what ails him. But I am on to the case.

I have taken six flights in the past six days. Its been a bit frustrating having to check in toothpaste and contact lens fluid in the main baggage. In the lounge while you waited for your bucket of flying bolts, you could buy a cup of coffee but they would not supply you a lid, as they did not allow you to take it on board. Hopefully this will all calm down soon. But the real problem was when I arrived back in BlogTown and waited to pick up my luggage. It look a while for the bags to be deplaned, at least twenty minutes before anything started moving on the carousel. Then they all came at once and everyone grabbed their bags and left. Except me. My bag never arrived. I made two flights that day, and apparently it never left the first location. What have they got against a purple suitcase with a red ribbon? Such a nuisance. Since you can hardly bring anything on board the plane as carry-on baggage these days, I had checked in almost everything. All my trip notes, my toilet bag and my pet boa constrictor (ok, maybe I exaggerate a little).

There is good news to this story. 48 hours after landing, I got a call in the early morning to tell me my bag had finally arrived at the airport, and would I be home if they delivered it my door ? Sure, come on down. No idea why it was delayed and when the purple bag with the red ribbon arrived, no explanation was given : "I'm just the delivery guy". I'm just glad to have it back. This is the second time this has happened to me, fortunately it has been about a decade since the first time. I hope there's a least ten years before the next disappearance.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

I met Simon Says

I was leaving work yesterday afternoon and stepped into the elevator and hit the "Main" button. A couple of floors later, a short gentleman, 55-ish, in a brown suit got on. He was holding some books. I'll call him Simon. I've never seen him before. We both looked at the monitor in the top corner, which indicated that the weekend weather was going to be good.

Me: Well its going to be a fine weekend.
Simon: (sighing) Yes.
Me: I'm glad its Friday.
Simon: (unintelligible response).
Me: You look like you've had a rough week.
Simon: Yes, but next week's going to be worse.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things get better.
Simon: (sighing deeply) It won't get better until November.

Before I had a chance to ask more, another gentleman got on the elevator and Simon just sighed to himself and did not volunteer any more information.

With very little to go on, I was trying to work out what would be so bad in August but wouldn't get better until November. I'm pretty sure he was talking about a work situation. Maybe he works for a skiing company and is waiting for the snows of winter. Or maybe he is just professionally miserable. It will remain a mystery, until perhaps I meet him in the elevator and obtain the next clue.

I'm keeping this picture for posterity because I think this house is going to be knocked down any day now. And I think if a little loving care was put into this one it would look so good. But no, its going to be flattened and a monster be put in its place.

And along by the blogtrain is this tree, which I've photographed before. It stands out because of its branches at higher levels, and hardly any branches below.

Here is our sturdy blogtrain yesterday evening, with some blurring and watercolour added for good measure.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ethel came back the very next night...


Complete disaster. Ethel seems to have taken umbridge at the smelly human sprinklings around the front, and become the Incredible Hulk. Several large slabs have been removed from the opening of the hole. She's got back into the crawlspace. Well to be honest I don't know whether she is in or out, and I'm not inclined to test out either theory in any detail at this moment. I need to rethink this one. Time to retire to the pub to contemplate this over a beer or six.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Just watering the garden .... move right along. Nothing to see.


While Ethel isn't exactly living in the crawlspace, she is making frequent pungent visits. Each morning I've been putting up new barriers to stop her digging down below the house. She's a persistent beastie. I see piles of earth strewn around; and brown patches and scuffs of grass on the lawn where she's been messing about. I've been researching skunk deterrents. My correspondent, Grace kindly wrote with a website advocating putting "fox urine" around the perimeter. I introduced the topic at work, as you do. There was an immediate enthusiastic roundtable discussion, where every known (and lesser known) skunk deterrent was regaled. The consensus was that urine of any carnivore would do. This piece of information got my attention.

So I bounded off home to Gregoire and asked him to do his duty around the bushes in front of the house. He said he couldn't go and do that, especially since I had massacred the laurel hedge and there was no privacy. Oh my God. Oh well, now I am looking to make alternate arrangements. But so far the pot outside the bathroom hasn't been used. Maybe I'll sneak out into the garden after midnight but hopefully I won't meet my black and white friend the moment my back is turned....

Late Edition update: Mission accomplished. The liquid deterrent is in place.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Quite a few houses in our neighbourhood have these paint marks on the ground around them, some kind of measurement. Its a sign for the invading aliens from the beyond the galaxy intent on coming to live in this neck of the woods. I hope they like artichokes.

Actually I think they are planning to knock the house down and replace it with some enormous dwelling with half an inch of garden round the perimeter. I wouldn't mind but a couple of them are really pretty places with a lot of character. Even houses are thrown out with the trash these days. I guess that means there will be more fodder for the wandering photographic muse....

Many thanks for the suggestions about the skunk - I'm on to it. Meanwhile back on my evening walk yesterday, across the way a little, I came across this elusive creature.

The reason for the sudden movement was to check out this ever so nonchalent being...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Skunks, smokin' crows and beds for just about everyone... just a normal day around this bloggerhood.


This is near our front door. If you sent the orange powder you see in the top of the picture to the lab (I've always wanted to do that, just for the heck of it), you'd find it was cayenne pepper. The large black ominous looking pipe is exactly what you jolly well think it is - a specially designed vaccuum cleaner embedded in the ground that will suck up skunks and other fourlegged creatures before you can say "There is a God after all." Ok maybe not, its just a regular drain, but surely to goodness, I had you going there for a fraction of a second.

Yes I have officially gone bananas. No, ok, we were woken at about five this morning by the lunatic skunk who was either trying to get in or out of our crawlspace. I suspect "in" sounds about right, MrsSkunkville being nocturnal. MrsS obviously does serious weightlifting at the gym as there were quite sizeable stones being flung willy-nilly in all directions, and if I might add, a term at finishing school would do her no harm, if she were allowed within a mile of place. I'm sure they'd teach her a thing or two about personal hygiene while they were at it.

But I digress. Anyway initially I put a large brick in the hole to stop any more entering or exiting but then I fretted about it all day in case I'd blocked the critter in, and she was sobbing and sighing but more seriously, getting pissed off with noxious consequences. I do not want to do her any harm. I just want her to leave. So when I came home from work, the house stunk a bit, so I rolled the boulder away from the cave, but for good measure left a dose of cayenne round the entrance. The good book says they don't like the stuff. I know it might sounds cruel, but either the fourlegged or the two legged occupants have to leave, and we're not moving. This is not the Stinkville Motel. Skunk, get thee to a nunnery, or basically anywhere out of here.

Well you can't really see what I'm really getting at in this photo. So we have a bit of rain. The occupants of this house must think its winter, because they have a roaring fire blazing in the hearth, from all the smoke coming out of the chimney. But then there are several crows (not the dead ones from yesterday, thankfully) fighting each other for the privilege of sitting on the chimney pot. Quite the scuffle going on there amongst the murder of crows, each trying to get prime seating on the warm stack.

I could not resist this one. The sign on the garage says "NO DUMPING".

and this one comes complete with headrest, mighty fine it is too, apart from being a heavily used, sopping wet mattrass. Yours for the taking.

Interesting pattern on this bed, I'd reckon.

A switch was flicked overnight and today it's been raining heavily, something we've not seen for a while. So this evening what did I see in the alleyways - beds, beds and more beds. Like someone is going to want these after all that rain - not likely.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Two Dead Crows - and whatta you got?

Alright, alright, I know, this blogging by pictures is easy enough. You just upload them and away you go. But then its easy to get by without writing much.

I've not a lot of time because Gregoire will be screeching for his supper. Which is not quite fair because we take turns to cook. And even I have worked out that it is my turn this evening.

Ok crows are in the title so we'll talk crows. So you see, down the alleyway in the last week we saw two stone dead crows. Not thirty feet from one another. West Nile, I hear you croak ? Well who knows. Crows are pretty sharp customers, I would doubt they got poisoned. There have been a lot of vermin around here, so there's probably rat bait in every block. We check the local municipal information on crows. If you get the darned bird into the lab with 48 hours it will be checked for West Nile.

Well of course our two dead-uns did not make it to the lab. I could have taken pictures, but that seemed a bit gratuitous. They've been flattened a few times by local cars so are as flat as a board. I found out today though that they still stench to high heaven, as I took pity upon them on my litter pick-up route, and carted them away, and disposed of them.

Talking of smells, I think the skunk has come back to live. We've blocked every hole imaginable to the crawlspace, but he/she obviously still thinks this is the Motel Six or something. Each evening around 10pm, the "smell" appears and out I go on to the deck in the hopes of seeing the creature, and probably just as well, I don't, otherwise I could get a nasty dose of something.

Which reminds me, I must away to sort out the evening meal...

There are lots of bike routes in our neighbourhood. Which is great because theoretically on those streets there are less cars.

I wonder if snails and flamingoes usually get so close..

and the darlek was back again this year : "You will be exterminated..."

The phoenix got a lot of attention, rightly so...

We were recently out at a Lantern Festival - if you check the blog a year ago you'll see similar pictures. Well this year we went and there were many imaginative lanterns, this pig being one.

This is such a lovely garden. Sure there's a bit of morning glory getting in on the act on the right, but whole effect is bright, vibrant and colourful.

In our neighbourhood there are so many avid gardeners. This is a kiwi tree, and there were hundreds of kiwis. Every branch was loaded. I sure hope the occupier of the house like kiwis because there's enough for fruit salad every day until Christmas.

This is a view walking along by the blogtrain. It feels a bit like the Berlin wall, though not as a oppressive. I imagine this path would have been quite pleasant before the blogtrain came along, not that it is too shabby now. Its quite secluded, with trees all along the way.

Just in case you run short, there was a bit of money in this tree. The catch here is that if you actually got to the money, you would probably break your neck. It was in a tree, just out of reach.

The amount of stuff to be given away in our neighbourhood is quite incredible. Thing is, you haven't a clue whether it works until you get it home. This lot was quite tempting but we resisted. We have actually got a CD player, video player and Lord knows what else, but thanks for offering...

A yard with a rather terratorial cat. I wonder does she realize she is now a blog star?

We were out on a stroll the other day, and came across a coat hook in the woods, complete with coat....